Christmas is coming,
The drunks are getting worse,
Please put a penny in the taxi drivers purse.
If you haven’t got a penny
’cause you just bought a kebab,
Don’t expect a free ride home,
Just piss off from my cab.
This might sound a bit like ‘Bah, Humbug!’ but you should see the nice friendly party-goers from my point of view. Spend it all on fun but don’t worry about the fare home … after all these taxis are just there for your convenience, we really don’t like taking your money and really want to be a free service!! We don’t have any bills to pay as we get everything from the council for free … we just do this job because we are sad, masochistic people who love drunken fools abusing us at every opportunity.
I have actually had people think that the cars and fuel are supplied FOR FREE by the council and we should charge a minimal fare as it is all profit to us. Just what planet are they from? Other amusing comments are :
‘Always get a diesel cab as they are cheaper’
‘Always get a taxi with a sign on as they are the cheapest’
‘Always get an older driver as they feel sorry for you if it is expensive’
‘Always get a taxi from the back of the rank as he will charge less as he won’t have to wait as long’
Are these people serious?? Where do they get these nuggets of information from? What species are they? I say drain the gene pool now before the fools breed!!
Friday was ‘Builders Friday’. ( For those of you that don’t know ….Builders Friday is the construction trades last working day before Xmas where they finish work at mid day and start drinking and clubbing until the early hours.) Needless to say we end up with a lot of drunken brickies, plumbers, carpenters, labourers etc. and things usually get out of hand with a few fights here and there. Last night was no exception!
Some of the older ‘bosses’ know when they have had enough and go home reasonably early and sober but the younger ‘tradesmen’ never seem to know their limit. In trying to keep up with the seasoned drinkers they usually end up face down in the road.( My heart bleeds for them!)
Trouble is that we end up with the plonkers at the end of the night. I saw the ambulance called twice to one night club for collapsed drunks …. all at NHS expense. Maybe it is time they were charged for the medical expenses incurred through their heavy drinking …. a large medical bill for a couple of thousand pounds might just make them see sense and drink less.
Saturday was a fairly busy night. Took two ladies home only to find my route closed by police, fire and ambulance … car crash and one dead driver …. not the best time of year for the family to loose a son (if there ever is a best time). Looks like ‘Mr Speed’ did it again on a dark road …. will the young drivers never learn?
Had the usual drunken fools wanting cheap taxi home …. I don’t think you need to hear my answer!! Lots of costume parties out but as far as I am concerned Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and whatever you are …. YOU STILL PAY THE FULL FARE. Just because you fight evil-doers all day as your job doesn’t entitle you to a subsidised fare home. One ‘costume’ wanted to pay £30 for a £47 fare …. I told him he would get the same discount as he got from the pub and nightclub …. sweet FA!
Quite a big Police presence on the street for a change so fighting was kept to a minimum but that didn’t stop some of the idiots from having a go. Couple of arrests but nothing out of the ordinary!! In fact it all went OK for a change …. but it will not be that good on New Years Eve when every prat and his friends are let loose.
I’m having a quiet Christmas this year. I’m not going to work and I’m having my grand children staying …… maybe ‘quiet’ is not the best description but it should be a ‘drunk free zone’ ….except for me …. it’s my turn, my house and my rules …. should be good!!
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